Stepford Sarah: Palin Programmed for Debate!

Today, I got this email from my brother:

Gee willikers, wasn’t Sarah Palin swell last night. Let those East
Coast media elites say what they will, but that was one heckuva
whizbang show ole Sarah put on. Gosh oh golly she was great. What a
nifty VP she’ll make, dontcha think?

For those of you who aren’t from New York:  that’s called sarcasm.

Because while Sarah Palin didn’t humiliate herself, didn’t fumble, didn’t tell anyone she’d “get back to” ’em. She also didn’t impress anyone (certainly not my brother, a proud, card carrying, ivy-educated member of the East Coast Elite) with the depth of her intellect and understanding.  Still, give credit where credit is due.  It was a great performance.  I can’t wait to see how she does in the evening gown portion of the event.

What my brother doesn’t know is, and what secret sources have recently revealed to this blogger, is that that wasn’t  really Sarah Palin up there.  It was (scary music sting) STEPFORD SARAH.

Whereas most candidates are coached before a debate, Sarah Palin was, quite literally, programmed, evidently by a former writer of that great American show, Hee-Haw.  Stepford Sarah was programmed in folksy overdrive.  I half expected her to ask for a break so she could check on the RV she had parked outside, grab a brewsky, and make sure she didn’t let down her bowling league on their big night.

Lord knows I’m fair and impartial, so I’ll admit that Joe Biden was working the working class thing, too.  But at least when he said “working class” there was a “g” at the end of the word.

I have done some quick mathematical calculation of the folksiness quotient of each of the debators.  You’ll see that it clearly shows that Sarah Palin was folksier by a quotient of Chuckie Cheese³.