Archive for July, 2009

Summer Vacation or Mom’s Busy Season

You know all those things you thought you were gonna get done while the kids were at camp?

Well — I’m not laughing at you — I’m laughing with you. Read all about What I didn’t Do On My Summer Vacation on NYC Moms blog, by clicking here.


July 29, 2009 at 5:59 pm Leave a comment

Who’s Afraid of the Water Park? Me, that’s who.

traveling-mom-logoI have trekked through the rain forests of Costa Rica.  I have biked 18 miles up-hill to the top of  Mount Constitution in Washington State. I have traveled through Turkey – by myself – with blond hair.  But the ideaof going to Splish Splash Water Park terrifies me.

It’s not the possibility of drowning *though there is that), or the inherent germiness of being in a place where so much, and so many, are so damp. (Though there is that, too.)  I’m afraid of it because it means I’ll have to wear a bathing suit in public for an extended period of time.

To read the rest of this post, click here.

July 25, 2009 at 5:57 pm Leave a comment

What Happened to the Girl I (Was When I Got) Married?

I’ve just had one of those days.  You know — when you drop your kids off at camp (or school or whatever) and suddenly, it’s 3:00, and you haven’t had lunch, and you never made it to the market, and you didn’t deal with your serious dark root s situation AGAIN – but it’s already time to pick up the kids?  One of those days.

It made me think about a book I’m been reading: “What Happened to the Girl I Married” by Michael Miller.  Which is good, because I’m reading it as part of the Silicon Valley Moms Group book club. (I write for NYC Moms blog, which is part of the SV Group.  Confused yet?)

Anyway, the book is about a guy (Miller) who spends a year “in his wife’s shoes at home.” (wonder if she wears Blahniks!), as a way to discover what happened to the girl…well, you get the drift.

I know what happened to her.  She lost herself on the way to the dry cleaners and the pediatricians, and the exterminator, and the optometrist, and and and and and.

How does that happen?  How does the day get away from you so fast?  Miller thought his wife was just inefficient. Ha! He learned the hard way what a hard way of living being a full time stay at home Mom can be.

Miller really does give it his all — He tackles the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning. But for all of his realizations — some of which, I admit, are validating and worthwhile to read (I especially liked his idea of SAHMs living life in fragments)– the book is really about him.  His journey.  His conquering it all.  His realization and transformation from corporate egomaniac or domesticated, sympathetic uber-husband and father.

All I could think of while I was reading it was — where is the girl he marred in all of this?  What was she doing while he took over her life to learn how to respect what she does?  Why don’t we hear from her?

I know why.  It’s a man’s world.  Even in a book written to help men understand what their wives go through each day.Even in a book that advises men to acknowledge and praise their wives.(And Michael, I do acknowledge and praise you for doing this.)  Because, what he doesn’t say is: encourage your wife to be herself.  Encourage your wife to follow her own dreams while you hold down the fort.

In the end – he’s just making life more palatable for women (not to mention himself — there’s a lot about getting enough sex)…as long as they’re still at home waiting for him when he gets back from wherever he’s been all day. I don’t mean to say that he hasn’t genuinely changed the way he perceives, appreciates, and communicates with his wife.  He has.  But it’s still a book about men.  About husbands appeasing wives, understanding wives — as if “wife” were some state of being universal to women.

On days like today, I’d love for my husband to read this book – lacking though I found it. Because at least this guy made the attempt.  I’d rather he universalized, instead of personalized the whole thing. I wish he didn’t repeat himself quite so much. (yes, I know.  Your father was a produce man)  but still — he tried.  Which is more than I can say for a lot of husbands I know. (not mine.  of course.  never mine.)

But honsetly, what I really need is a book about how to clean the house, make the beds, do the shopping, wipe the tears, arrange the flowers, prepare the meal, do the dishes, fold the laundry, “do” the husband, and still have time to hang out and be myself.  That book, I’d love. I But until it comes out, I’ll still be searching.

July 15, 2009 at 10:08 pm 1 comment

Pixorial: Home Movies Finally Find a Home

pixorial logoI don’t pretend to be an expert on what services are out there to help you turn your poorly shot, shaky, dark, over-long or “I forgot to turn the camera off while I walk around”  home videos into DVD’s you might want to watch, but I do know that the people at Pixorial have a service that’s doing the trick for me.

Here’s what they do: you send them  your old movies(via upload if they’re already in digital format,  or through the mail – in a box they provide), they convert them to an editable format, download them to their site (for your eyes only, of course) and then provide an easy, albeit basic, editing system to turn those movies into sharable, sendable, watchable “Shows.”

The service is free for 10 Gigabytes (like I know what that means!)of uploads and low-res little thumbnails, or about $25 a year for the high-res, limitless uploads, endless storage Pro membership. (and here it’s time for full disclosure: the kind folks at Pixorial set me up with a credit towards the service, and a free pro-membership.)

First of all – these people are nice.  Helpful.  Enthusiastic.  I like that in a company.  You can actually contact a HUMAN BEING at this place. Hallalujah.  And while Pixorial’s editing system is pretty basic: fades, dissolves, titles – you know the drill, it’s about enough for your average home movie-taker.  And the truth is, if you don’t use Pixorial – or something like it – my bet is, you won’t watch your videos at all.  Or if you do, and you’re anything like me, you’ll get a headache from all the shaky bits. (and no, for this one post, I am NOT referring to my thighs.)

Look, I spent nearly 20 years as a television producer, which means that when it comes to editing I’m kinda like Captain Kirk: I know what I want, I know how to tell other people to do it, but I don’t actually know how to do anything myself.  With Pixorial, I don’t have to know much.  It works similarly to most word processing software — drag ‘n drop, my friends, drag  ‘n drop. (more…)

July 9, 2009 at 10:00 am Leave a comment

Bye Bye Blankie

When my kids were babies, I prided myself on never using a pacifier. I wasn’t one of those moms whose kids walked around with a tooth-deforming hunk-o-rubber in their mouths. No, my children would be soothed by a washable, all natural cotton security blanket. By the time they were four, my kids were still hanging on to their “blankies.” I asked their pediatrician when I needed to take it away: “When they’re 40.” he said.

Read the rest of my latest post on NYC Moms Blog by clicking here:

July 7, 2009 at 11:05 am 1 comment

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